Tell me who in the world goes to Genting to gamble. I didn't know Genting was famous for gambling. All along I thought it was known for those little buggy car rides. Las Vegas seems like a better place to gamble. Haha. C goes there often to gamble, I just learnt on fri. Den I asked him, "Ur parents allow you to gamble??" Guess what he replied.. " I go there with my father." I was like -_-...

***

It felt weird talking to Qn abt relationships, probably becos it isn't something you would usually discuss with a guy. He asked me to guess who he was the closest to in ISE. Den I said I really don't know. And his answer was "I thought I'm the closest to you?" , which in a way really surprised me. I always regarded him as a close friend, but didn't know we were that close. Well, I suppose now I know. It's not that I don't feel the same way, just that perhaps it was something I was only subconsciously aware of rather than consciously. I'll be sad when he goes overseas for SEP. Luckily it's not anytime soon, ard a yr's time.

***

Sch starts tmr. And I think I look forward to it slightly more than I did last semester. Because the modules look more interesting, probably less technical. But I shldn't get my hopes too high, there might not be that much of a difference after all (I will realise after attending a few lectures). I must be more hardworking this sem.

***

Right now, right here, I am really thankful that I have you. Sometimes I think if I didn't have a boyfriend, I wouldn't still be here. Not in the sense that I must have a boyfriend because I can't stand being unattached, afraid of what others would think. It's more of like a listening ear, even though you don't always say the right things, or play the right part, I know you still love me no matter what. Being attached perhaps makes me feel that my existence does bring happiness and meaning into someone else's life, like I'm living not only for my own happiness. Of course I'm not denying that people live their lives for themselves mainly and I am no different. But still, somehow, I feel I need to go on because someone out there needs me and wants me to.

I wonder if it's what I'm suffering from that causes these bouts of sadness and wistfulness. Deep down, I hope it is. And perhaps, there may never be a cure.